Saturday, 23 January 2016

Cis, sexism and pronouns

I don't remember when I learnt that trans people existed, that not everyone identified with the gender they were assigned at birth. But I do remember the first time I heard the word "cis", and I was all like "YES! Finally I have the word for me!". Cos saying I "wasn't trans" or "non-trans" didn't feel quite right. Neither did "normal". I've never liked applying the word "normal" to myself.

Cis was one of the first labels I felt really comfortable with. Even more so than "girl". I don't know why. Could have something to do with going through a phase were I wondered if I was really a boy, and people were just mistaken when I was born. I'm not sure.

Then we get the whole pronouns thing. I really, really, really dislike being misgendered. To the point where I was very vocal about what pronouns I preferred as a teen girl playing MMOs. Very vocal. If someone used "he" when talking about me, I'd type "she*" as if it was a typo and they really knew what pronouns they ought to use. I would rather take all the abuse girls get online than have anyone call me "he".

I talked about that with a friend a few weeks ago. About misgendering and using the wrong pronouns. I said something about how I really understand trans people who hate when people use the wrong pronouns, and how I was very vocal about being a girl online. My friend said she preferred the wrong pronouns to all the grief girls get when playing games online. We had different survival tactics.

I really like talking to her about gender stuff and equality, cos we have very different ways of dealing with all the sexism in the world. So it's really interesting to "compare notes" so to say. 

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